My Father

I hadn't been in contact with my father for 2 months as of yesterday.  My no contact rule was established by me yelling at my father to "Get out of my house!" and "Don't come back!" in February 2011.   My father was convicted of molesting 2 children about 20 to 30 years ago. 


Up until February of this year, I had maintained a relationship with him for my mother's sake.  My mother is still with him, and she wanted desperately to maintain some semblance of a "normal" family where the grandparents have a relationship with their children and grandchildren. 


I have two small children, and I while I was still in contact with my father I did not allow him any access to my children unless myself and another adult were in the same room with them.  The reason why I ordered him out of my house were not directly related to any apprehension of a molestation risk.   I told him to get out because he was being an a**h***.   He was belittling me for using a firm voice with my little girl when I thought she was misbehaving.    He was treating me with contempt, and asking me repeatedly why I would DO such a thing.   "Why do you DO it, Reese?  Why do you DO it?"  As if I had done something terrible when I told her to not hit her poppy, and as if I was ALWAYS using such harsh and unnecessary discipline tactics.    I got in his face and told him exactly why I told her not to hit her poppy: because she had hit her babysitter in the face 20 minutes prior, and I thought I saw her do the exact same thing with her poppy (my father).  When I gave him this explanation he completely ignored it, and continued to ask me "Why do you DO it?" in a contemptuous voice. 

Basically, the incident was him coming to the defence of my three-year-old daughter, and trying to paint me as the unreasonably strict mother.  My daughter is old enough to pick up on this dynamic.  I abhor the idea that he would try come between me and my daughter.

Anyway, this wasn't this first time my father had treated me with contempt, but I decided it was going to be the last time, and I told him to leave.  

Last night (2 months after that incident) my mom called me to see how the children were.  My dad unexpectedly got on the phone and told me congratulations on my new job.  It was the first time he attempted to speak to me since February.  He gave no apology for his behaviour, no attempt at addressing the incident.  Just trying to pretend nothing had happened. Typical narcissist behaviour.  I did not thank him for his congratulations.  I just said "yes" and hung up.  I have nothing to say to him.  

If he was just being a jerk I would probably let him away with his idiot behaviour and play along like nothing happened.  But he is a convicted child molester.  I have every right to keep him the hell away from my family and never speak to the b*****d again.  When I speak to my mom again I am going to tell her not to put dad on the phone ever again or else I will not be taking her calls.